why the fuck cant we text the police
lets say there is a murderer in ur house and you’re hiding behind your sofa and you do have your phone with you but you can’t call the police because the murderer might hear you
Here in Canada you can
Here in England we just… scream and run
Here in Scotland we paint our faces and run towards the murderer
Here in Australia we offer them beer
(via deliciously--morbid)
#i feel so bad when any guy or girl tries to date his daughter #because you show up at their door and her dad is fuckin’ Thor
Look how badass he is while holding that baby
But what if he used it on the guy who came to the door for his daughter?
TELL ME, MIDGARDIAN. WHAT ARE YOUR INTENTIONS TOWARDS MY DAUGHTER?
I AM OBLIGED TO INFORM YOU NOW THAT ANY DISRESPECT TOWARDS HER SHALL SURELY END POORLY FOR YOU.
WHOSOEVER DATETH MY DAUGHTER
IF HE BE WORTHY
SHALL POSSESS
THE BLESSING OF THOR
and watch when the time comes, he’ll just be like “Hey, mate, treat her good okay? Bring her back before eleven please. Drive safely.”
I THINK WE HAVE TO WORRY MORE ABOUT HER GODFATHER, TOM LOKI HIDDLESTON TBH.
What the hell.
This is the greatest post in the universe.jesus christ it’s updated
Rebloggin for the comments.
JFC Tumblr, I can’t take you anywhere.
I love you
ALL of you
this shit just keeps getting better!!!
Dear lord this girl is going to have the hardest time getting a boyfriend. The poor thing is going to come home, stomp up to her room, try to slam the door, but it’ll be impossible because Chris Hemsworth will effortlessly stop the door with his huge Norse God arm.
And she’ll be like “DAD! YOU SCARED HIM AWAY!”
“I DID NO SUCH THING, MY DEAREST DAUGHTER. I ONLY SPOKE TO HIM THE TRUEST TRUTH OF THE NINE REALMS.”
“Oh my god, dad…”
“HE HAD AN ILL LOOK ABOUT HIM, I LIKED IT NOT. YOU ARE DESERVING OF THE HIGHEST OF QUALITY IN MEN, NOT THE LIKES OF HIM. YOU HAVE A DUTY AS PRINCESS OF ASGARD TO MARRY WELL AND SERVE THE KINGDOM, AND I ALSO WISH THAT YOU MAY HAVE A HUSBAND WHO WILL TREAT YOU AS THE QUEEN YOU ARE.”
“Dad… I’m not a queen! Stop it!”
And then Tom Loki Hiddleston, her godfather, walks in and she’s like: “And YOU! YOU SCARED HIM, TOO!”
“Oh, I did? My mistake. I overestimated the bravery of the young man, I fear.”
“WELL DONE, BROTHER.”
“Dad! Uncle Tom! SHUT UP! YOU’RE NOT EVEN REAL BROTHERS!”
“I fear your daughter is saying hurtful things in her anger, she means them not, I think. Worry not, Thor, I had trouble with my children more than once…”
“UNCLE TOM YOU DON’T HAVE ANY KIDS!”
“BROTHER PERHAPS WE SHOULD LEAVE HER TO HER ANGER.”
“No, wait! You guys have to stop doing this, I’m never going to get a boyfriend if you keep doing this!”
“Oh, alright. We shall never again berate or intimidate the young men whom you present to us. I promise.”
“UNCLE TOM STOP TALKING LIKE THAT.”
“Darling girl, my name is Loki, God of Mischief, Silvertongue, Lord of Lies. I know not of this Tom you speak of.”
“YES, MY DEAR. YOUR YOUNG MEN SHALL BE SAFE FROM ANY SO-CALLED WRONGDOING OF OURS.”
“Dad…”
“WHAT IS IT, DAUGHTER?”
“Never mind. Thanks, good night.”
#And then the next day Tom and Chris are in full costume#helmets and all#with their scepters and their capes#And she brings in this young guy#and they open the door#And there’s her father and her godfather#Tom smiling his ovary-bursting smile#you know the evil one that’s also strangely sexy#And Chris has his hammer at the ready#and they greet him#calling him a suitor for the hand of the princess of Asgard#talking about how he’ll need to complete nine Trials to prove himself worthy to have her as his queen
(Source: sapfira23, via deliciously--morbid)
her dress changes color to that of your blog
this is lovely
she has a snowflake patterned dress this is great
(Source: wicked-transparency, via fangirlingforeverz)
Welcome to Tumblr.
Holy shit this is the most accurate post I have ever seen in my life
wait…this is a completely different gif set on my blog…
Reblog this and then check it on your Tumblr. Go on, do it.
Im so happy I got a laughing Prussia on my blog
I GOT THE WIBBLY WOBBLY :D my life is complete
I don’t like Sherlock and such but WHAT THE FUCK HOW DOES THIS WORK???
(Source: parasolpunk, via senate-of-sorcery)
Cheesecake Stuffed Strawberries
Here’s what you need:
About 20 strawberries… this was a little over one carton for me.
8 oz pkg softened cream cheese
1/2 cup powdered sugar
1/2 tsp vanilla
1 sleeve of graham crackers
1/2 cup mini chocolate chips (optional)
1. First you will want to wash the strawberries and cut off the tops.
2. Now core them! Use a knife. :D
The easiest way to core the strawberries is to hold the entire berry in your hand (wrap your fingers around it) and literally just core out the center. Get as deep as you can without breaking through the bottom. On a scale of 1-10 with 1 being the easiest, I would give this a 4. Not too bad!
3. Now to make the filling…. I used my hand mixer because it ‘s just a few ingredients.
Beat the cream cheese. Add powdered sugar and vanilla. Beat until smooth.4. You can use a piping bag or you can cut off the tip of a ziplock bag.
5. Crush up 3 grahm crackers in a baggy!
6. Now fill the strawberries, leaving just a bit coming out the top… then sprinkle with graham cracker crumbs.
7. If you want… melt about 1/2 cup of chocolate chips. Place in zip lock. Snip tip off and
DRIZZLE……..8. Enjoy!
SOURCE (Some words changed due to post style, but instructions are the same) Tell her what you think!
(via senate-of-sorcery)
consultingdetectivewithoutabox:
jesus christ that’s diabolical
Mother of God
Crafty mother fucker
Wow, I’m relying on asshole disney for all my revenge schemes
this is completely perfect revengewise
(Source: assholedisney, via toasteraffairs)
so this cute mofo
was voiced by the same person that did the voice of this mofo
welcome to funimation where we have 5 voice actors
four of them are Vic Mignogna in different wigs
(via toasteraffairs)
can’t stop won’t stop until shipper!aizen is officially a meme
#EyeShipItBitch
Just as planned
Oh dear heavens. I cracked up when I saw his face
(via fangirlingforeverz)
